Quotations
Funny
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
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