Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
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