Quotations
Funny

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

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