Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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