Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
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