Quotations
Funny
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
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