Quotations
Funny
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
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