Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
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