Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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