Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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