Quotations
Funny

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

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